Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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