Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
