I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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