If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
