yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
