i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
