You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
