how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Randomize