This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
How external is "for external use only"?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
