i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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