Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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