Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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