Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
