whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
