I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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