it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
