if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
