Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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