I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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