i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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