I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
