Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
