Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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