your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you would pick up someone in the library
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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