Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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