listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
