I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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