i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i think im in europe. pls send help
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
