the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
