My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
