Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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