So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
