marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
PANTIES FOUND
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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