You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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