She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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