Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
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