her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
