you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
