You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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