you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
