JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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