do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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