I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
