If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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