question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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