i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
