I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
