Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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