Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
