can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
